took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
