Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
