The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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