And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
