he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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