VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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