i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
