Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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