gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
