I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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