I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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