I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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