dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
well you can't waste a boner
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
