ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
