Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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