I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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