id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
