I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
