if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
