Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
