Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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