he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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