Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
