He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
