New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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