Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
