Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We had sex on a dog bed..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
