I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
