that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
