No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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