That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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