kristin has been a bad kristin
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
