I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
