I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
