Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize