I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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