I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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