To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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