Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
