its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My dick has a subreddit
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
