Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize