In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
