She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize