Is it because I queefed?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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