Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
