I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
