Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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