It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
