Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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