3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
