allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
