I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
