Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize