my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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