You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
