I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize