I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
