goodnight i made you a song goodbye
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
