i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
