my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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