Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
