Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
