Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
