Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
