She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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