Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
