? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
