I wish i was in the wii world.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
