She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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