hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
