Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
