I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
