woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize