Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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